Brodie Brown is S.P.O.I.L.E.D – no other way to sugar coat it. It’s hard to disregard the fact that he will not sleep on a $20 Costco pet bed, insists on his membership to the toy-of-the-month club, and uncle ben’s rice & green beans augment his daily organic kibble intake. Spoiled isn’t bad per say, high-maintenance is even okay, but bad manners and misbehavior are not okay – in Labradors or humans. This flies in the face of my personal mantra – “that rules don’t apply to me”. Even with this belief at the core of my being I do follow rules that keep me civilized in a normal society and make my mother proud of my manners on a day-to-day basis. However in my Labrador I have not found these things to be true…he believes rules don’t apply to him. PERIOD.
Brodie’s bad manners & behavior irritate & frustrate me. At 3 years old, how can he NOT walk politely on a leash? Why in the hell would he think he can ignore a command when given? How and when did his ball & water obsession start and how do I stop it? Why does my cream colored duvet have mud and brown dog hair (although we have never caught him on our bed, he leaves evidence)? Why would he pee on our friend’s Christmas tree? I think it might be the last event that layered on embarrassment to irritated and frustrated. And with this holy trinity coming together – Lab Boot Camp is starting.
I start most projects with self-reflection and information gathering:
- I raised a beautiful Labrador companion once upon a time – if I did this once, why can’t I do it again?
- Read Caesar’s Way or some such Caesar Milan book…
- Read Uncle Andy’s unfailing dog training…or some such title….
- Looked long and hard at myself and the way I interact with Brodie….
- Looked long and hard at how my husband interacts with Brodie….
Brodie’s problem is us; we simply aren’t on the same page about how to discipline this dog and he is apparently in the position now to control our household. Mark seems to believe that ‘he is such a good boy’ and wants Brodie to ‘love him’ and therefore refuses to parent him or become his leader (if you buy into the Caesar Milan way of thinking). I strive like hell to be the alpha for this dog, but that is immediately undone when Mark interacts – and at that point Brodie knows he can dominate the household.
“He was a different dog in Denver” – said my friend who has known him since he was a puppy. And he was, when he was with me fulltime and Mark was a weekender, I actually was enjoying a reasonably behaved dog. He was worn out by all the playing at daycare, but we also had adopted the proper relationships. Daycare also provided him the structure he needed; routines, other alpha relationships, learning to share space with other dogs and humans. But, then I brought him back home to live as a backyard dog and he regressed. I have complained to my husband, but to no avail nor commitment for any real change.
Like a kid who learns to manipulate one parent over the other (which is by-the-way is a serious statement about a kids intelligence and perhaps a dogs intelligence), Brodie discovered that living fulltime with Mark was easier – all lollipops, ice cream, and no bed times. I just cannot allow Brodie to manipulate me anymore, create discord in what was a happy life, nor wander through life with ill manners and bad behavior.
I have decided Labrador Boot camp starts now, but first I must have a conversation with my husband!
brandinarvaez
Living with a Labrador 