Living with a Labrador

Our home is beautiful, and we have spent a great deal of money and sweat equity to create our version of the perfect home.  Over the years nearly every room has been remodeled, stunning hardwood floors installed, home entertainment systems, and a spa-like master bathroom created.  In addition to the inside remodel we also boast a peaceful & relaxing outdoor living area; my husband takes meticulous care of our yards and garden – the roses are always in bloom, the hydrangeas are spectacular pinks and purples, a small redwood grove provides shade for the ferns and orchids which grow outside, and everyone who visits raves about the Japanese maple trees which add such amazing color to the landscape.  We invested in beautiful but comfortable outdoor furniture and spend the majority of our summer and fall days living outside.  In short the inside and outside of our home is exactly the way we want it and we love living here. 

Then we produced the most spoiled Labrador in America…

Brodie Brown belongs to the ‘toy of the month’ club from an online vendor who makes durable dog toys – not the kind that are destroyed in a few hours (or minutes depending on the dog) – these toys last and are impossible to destroy.  Every month my credit card is charged for a toy that is on his ‘wish list’ and UPS dutifully drops it at our front door a few days later.  We first were introduced to this brand of toys at a small dog boutique in Carmel, CA.  We picked up a boomerang and found that months later he could not destroy it, so on our next trip to Carmel we bought another one.  Eventually I read the tag on the toy and realized they could ship these toys directly to us and we could become a ‘toy tester’ creating our wish list and then rating each toy as it arrived each month.  To date Brodie has collected over 20 of these toys.  Ironically when we purchased the same style toy for my parent’s dog, she rejected it completely.  You never know who is going to like what…true of dogs and humans.  Brodie has favorites, his go-to toy is the ring and for some awkward reason he LOVES his shrunken head.   He has sporadic interest in the octopus and doesn’t seem infatuated in the one shaped like a football.  At this point other toys that remain in his toy box go untouched; he loves this brand of toys.  I completely understand his dedication to a brand; in the same way I love Kate Spade purses & sunglasses and stay loyal to that brand.   

Now to merge these story lines together….our house looks like crap!  The stunning hardwood floors are covered with aliens, sharks, rings, boomerangs…I stepped out of my shower recently in the spa-like master bathroom to find a shrunken head waiting for me on the tile.  Worse, if you step outside to enjoy our peaceful & relaxing outdoor area you will find a mixture of toys – including a dual sided tug toy, and a large octopus!  There is no space which is peaceful nor relaxing.  I am constantly picking up toys to put them back into his toy box.  Which is dumb on my part, because Brodie just retrieves them and takes them to the spots where he likes them to be at-the-ready and available in case anyone would like to pick up a toy and play with him.  I guess that is my fault in not understanding the breed, he is a retriever! 

His best afternoons at home are spent with my husband playing fetch in the backyard with a boomerang and a few splashes through his plastic pool to cool down before the next round.  Brodie has no idea he is destroying the sophisticated vibe I am trying to create in our home.  I am not sure how to explain it to him; he doesn’t understand money, he doesn’t understand effort, he doesn’t understand interior or exterior decorating, nor does he understand that when momma puts a toy away it should stay in the toy box.  Since there isn’t a way to explain it, and since he spends his days wanting to play, and since I provide the financial backing for this toy of the month situation – he wins!  If you visit us you will find a home cluttered with toys of all shapes & sizes, a small plastic pool outside, a large brown Labrador, and little dog hair.  Hopefully you are able to find our home a Labradors version of cluttered sophistication and can look past the toy collection strewn about. 

Given my slight case of OCD and a belief that everything should be in its place, it is very difficult for me to accept this fate. I could stop the toy delivery, I could remove the toys from the house, there are many things I could do to remedy this situation.  But I think the best thing I can do is find a way to accept it.  I working daily on accepting the fact that our home is destined to be littered with aliens, sharks and shrunken heads…oh my!